I really enjoyed this book and I think you will too.
As with most things in life, marriage is more fulfilling when you pay attention to it. Through a more mindful relationship with your partner you can wade the trials and tribulations of married life with more respect and ease.
I read “Everybody Fights” by Kim and Penn Holderness last month and found it entertaining and very helpful. The Holdernesses are a family with two kids making videos for social media which encourage relatable comedy.
I’ve always loved the Holderness Family’s videos and was excited when I saw they wrote a book. I assumed it would be similar to the vibe of their social media presence which involves humor, introspection, and honesty. Not to mention FUN.
I was right – the book is great, and everyone who is married or thinking of getting married should read the book whether you fight fair or not. It’s filled with important reminders and is also a very entertaining read with a lot of heart and openness.
The main takeaway I got from the book is to really listen to your partner and try to understand where they are coming from. When your spouse behaves in a way that offends you, it can always be traced to some form of trauma or stress in their lives, past or present. This isn’t to excuse rude behavior but it encourages approaching fights from a place of understanding and compassion. These are two key elements to a more respectful relationship with anyone, not just your spouse.
Fighting fair means avoiding personal insults and thinking before you speak. It’s being mindful of the WHY behind your partner’s behavior, as well as your own, and staying open with your own struggles.
Marriage is complex and don’t expect major marital issues to be solved by reading one book but this truly is a great place to start. It may help you evaluate your need for professional marriage counseling which has been proven to improve relationships when both parties commit.
“Everybody Fights” offers a light-hearted yet honest take on how fighting within your marriage is common, normal, and like everything in life, can be improved. Staying mindful of how you speak, act and think about arguments can make all the difference towards a more enjoyable partnership.
For a more mindful marriage I highly recommend “Everybody Fights”!
For more tips on a mindful marriage: MINDFULNESS